life Archives - Creative Transformation

It is the time of year for transitions and new beginnings – new class, new school, new University. A time for looking forward to the new and letting go of the old.

For some, it will be exciting, and for others terrifying, and for most of us, a mixture of the two.

For me it is a time of contemplating the opportunities and sadness that comes with an emptying nest, as my daughter makes her way to a new beginning at University.

This last summer I took her for the first time, back to my roots – to Zimbabwe, where one of our adventures was to raft the mighty Zambezi – the toughest one day white water in the world.

I’ve done it before and know what can go wrong, which actually only makes it doubly terrifying! Coupled with that, my daughter’s father had sent me a news clip of a woman being taken by a crocodile not so long ago on the same venture. He was convinced I was taking my daughter to her death…..

We survived, but the pictures show how rough it was, how I came out of the boat in the roughest rapid, but managed to cling on…unlike the Ozzie in the neighbouring raft, which flipped, and he got sucked into a whirlpool and nearly drowned..

The unknown is so often scary, and these days it is always possible to find horror stories of the dangers that lie ahead. I have been anxious, contemplating this next phase of my life, even though I know it could be a great adventure.

I have been grateful to a friend who has sent me good thoughts each morning and I thought that for the rest of this month I will do a short ‘thought for the day’. Maybe it will help some of you who are navigating new and possibly choppy waters. At least it will set me daily on a positive path

So here is my thought for today:

“It is not required that we know all of the details about every stretch of the river. Indeed, were we to know, it would not be an adventure, and I wonder if there would be much point in the journey.”
― Jeffrey R. Anderson

Written after hearing that a very dear friend has secondary lung and bone cancer….

I would drink in the reds and russets of the leaves by the river on my morning walks

And revel in the incandescent light

Burning through the morning mist-

I would savour the damp earth fungus scents

And eat blackberries, blood stained

And apples, crisp from the tree, and stolen plums from the neighbour’s garden.

I would get up and climb a mountain, go rowing, play tennis – revel in the power of my limbs – if they worked.

I would tell all my loved ones that they were just that – loved – dearly and deeply

I would tell those who had blessed me how much it meant to me,

And let those who had influenced and changed my life know what part they had played in the canvas of my life, and

How their gifts had passed from them to me and onto many others, like the ripples

Of a stone tossed into the water.

I would ask forgiveness of those whom I had hurt

And set the record straight where misunderstandings had occurred.

I would plant….

Trees and roses and jasmine and honeysuckle..

And spring bulbs to celebrate the continuation of life after death,

And so that someone might be blessed by the rich scent of rose, or the dappled shade of a tree, the miracle of colour after a grey winter..

And maybe think of me, and grieve and be glad for my loss and my life.

I would paint pictures and write stories and poems for my daughter

That tell her important things I would like her to know

And give her wings to soar, glide and divebomb through this life-

And letters for her special occasions – graduation, marriage?,children?

So that she would deeply understand that

love does not end with death

I would make huge collages of our years together

And make great memories from our great memories…

I would notice the little things about her every day

And let her know how beautiful she is, body and soul,

And how much she is loved and will always be loved,

And pray that she will be able to take that love and know that she is deeply worthy of being loved, of connection..

And if I had no energy, I would ask her to sit with me by the fire and read to me,

Or listen to heartbreakingly beautiful music,

And watch our favourite films.

I would stop sweating the small stuff!

I would speak kindly to the fear that rises with me on waking

And know that I have faced my biggest fears and survived them.

And if I had any energy left, I would try and change the world, to leave it a better place…………………………………………………

But who knows our allotted span of days?

And if that is what I would do, maybe now is a good time to start!